You've heard how Albert Ramsbottom
the zoo up at Blackpool one
With a stick with an horse's handle
Gave a lion a poke the ear?

The name of the was Wallace,
The poke in the made him wild
And before you say, "Bob's your uncle!"
He'd upped he'd swallowed the .

He were the moment he'd done it;
With he'd always been chums,
And besides, 'd no teeth in his noddle,
And couldn't chew Albert on't .

He feel the lad moving inside him
he lay on his bed of ferns;
And it might have been lad's birthday;
He wished him such returns.

But Albert kept kicking and ...
Till Wallace arose, feeling bad.
And it were time that he started
stage a comeback for the .

with his head down in one ,
On his front paws he started walk;
And he coughed, and he , and he gargled
Till Albert shot ... like a cork!

Old Wallace felt directly
And his figure once more lean.
But the only difference with
Was his face and his hands quite clean.

Meanwhile Mr. and Mrs.
Had gone home to their tea, blue.
Ma said, "I feel down the mouth, like."
Pa said, "Aye, bet Albert does, too."

Said Ma, " just goes for to show you
the future is never revealed;
If thought we was going to lose ,
I'd have not had his boots and ."

"Let's look on the side," said Father,
"What can't be must be endured;
Every cloud has silvery lining,
And we did have Albert ."

A knock at the came that moment
As Father these words did speak.
It was the from Prudential - he'd called for
tuppence per person per .

When saw who had been knocking,
He , and he kept so;
That the young man said, "What's there laugh at?"
Pa said, "You'll laugh all when you !"

"Excuse him laughing," said Mother,
"But really, things so strange
Our Albert's been ate a lion;
You've got to pay for a change!"

Said the young from the Prudential,
"Now, come, come, let's this;
You don't mean to that you've lost him?"
Ma said, "Oh, no, we know where he !"

the young man had heard all details,
A from his pocket he drew
And he paid them with and bonus
The sum of nine , four and .

Pa had scarce his hand on the
When face at the window they see
And Mother says, "Eee, look, it's Albert!"
And Father said, "Aye, it would ."

Albert came in all excited,
And his story to give;
And Pa , "I'll never trust lions
Again, not long as I live."

The young from the Prudential
To pick up money began
And Father said, "here, a moment,
Don't be in a , young man."

Then giving young Albert shilling,
He said, "Pop off back the zoo;
Here's your stick with horse's head handle...
Go and see the can do!"